The Great Killer Of… Many things!

by | Dec 1, 2011 | Church Leadership, Church Planting, Communication / Preaching

Un-met Expectations can KILL! You know the feeling… You were expecting with all of your heart for “this”, instead you got “That!” We all have expectations, we have them in marriage, kids, team mates, weather, restaurants and friends..etc…

The problem is when our expectations are not met, then we get mad, hurt, disappointed or worse… Disengage or become bitter. I have experiences in all of those and quite frankly, I want all of my expectations to be met! But then, that is an unfair expectation!

That’s the thing about expectations, there are rules…

  • Expectations must be communicated to be validated. If they don’t know…They don’t know.
  • Expectations must be accepted to be effected. You can’t force expectations the other party refuses to fill.
  • Expectations must be loving to be lasting. You can’t put legalistic, selfish or cruel expectations on someone, it just won’t last!

Ask yourself a question. Why am I disappointed, hurt or bitter at _________ ? Fill in the blank with the name. Then ask yourself if the reason for your pain is an unmet expectation. If so, make sure that you expectation had met all the rules above. If not, go and ask forgiveness for being mad!

This has been a huge help to me as a leader of others, lover to my wife, father to my kids and friend to many. Hope it helps you get through one of those painful places today!

Image by bjornmeansbear.

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Artie Davis

Artie Davis is the Founding Pastor of Cornerstone Community Church in Orangeburg, SC. Cornerstone is an International multi-site & multi-ethnic church with locations in the US & Liberia, West Africa. Prior to launching Cornerstone, Artie was a successful entrepreneur and has a passion for coaching and multiplying leaders and writes about it almost exclusively on his blog, He is also the founder and Director of a church planting movement called the Its passion is to partner and plant “life-giving” & “ethnically reflective” churches in smaller cities & communities. Artie is also the Executive Director of, a national gathering movement for leaders and pastors in smaller cities. Internationally, Artie is Co-Founder of Think Liberia (USA), a partnering organization that helps meet physical, medical and spiritual needs of those in the West African nation of Liberia. Artie is married to his life-partner, best friend & wife Georgie. They live in SC, and have three children.