Just a Little Girl Talk

by Toni Spry


Many of the today’s women’s magazines were started during the time of the Women’s Lib movement in the 70’s.  I noticed, while shopping last week, that most had covers with captions that dealt with attracting, keeping, and pleasing men.  Ironic, isn’t it? Women, who supposedly don’t need men, only talk about men.

The pressures on men in today’s culture are immense.  They exponentially increase when beginning a church plant, as you all know: attendance, finances, relationships, etc., to name only a few.  They will vary as time goes by, but as a wise man once told my husband, “The problems never go away, they just rotate.”  As a Pastor’s wife, you may or may not know all that is going on – your husband may try to shield you – so exercising a little extra sensitivity at certain times is important.

With this in mind, I proffer the following.  Never argue on a Saturday night….no matter what.

I know it’s hard to believe that a man of God can be irritating, but it does happen.   The amazing thing is that he can be most annoying on Saturdays.  Don’t ask me why, I have no idea.  It’s certainly not me, I’m always pleasant.  :-)  Anyway, I don’t rise to the bait no matter what.  I bite my tongue realizing that, “…be at peace with all men…” is meant for me.  Preparation for Sunday is an all-week thing, but Saturday night is crucial.   I’ll promise myself that on Monday morning we are going to have a talk….guess what – by Monday, I’ve forgotten all about it!  So, keep Saturday & Sunday morning sacrosanct.  There are bigger things at stake than airing some petty grievance.  My husband has a plaque in his office that reads, “Get over it” – a message we all need to internalize sometimes.

Maintaining focus is what’s important.  The eternal destiny of the people God brings into our realm of reference is much more important than anything else happening at the moment.  With this in mind, I do everything in my power to make Saturday a stress free day.

That’s how I please the man in my life and he may not even realize it.

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About Toni Spry

Toni Spry is the co-author of the bestselling book, The Fulfilled Woman. She has spoken at women’s conferences, retreats, and Bible studies, and has a special burden for teaching and discipling Christian women. She has been involved in 8 church plants, lived in 5 states, and traveled internationally to minister. Read More About Toni Spry At Her Author Page

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  • http://www.bullcityvineyard.com Maggie

    Does this hold true for a pastor’s husband, Toni? Would you share this same message with them?

    • http://Tellstart.com Toni Spry

      Maggie, Thanks for your comment. It gives me an opportunity to clarify some things. I write from the perspective of the wife because there is so little out there that is written by experienced CP wives. If I can pass on any info that helps,praise God! In addition, most of what I write is applicable to both partners in the marriage. It would be a very foolish man who would pick a fight with his wife on a Saturday night. In addition, I also minister on sunday mornings…I play for the worship service. So we’re both real careful of what we say and how we act towards each other.
      On the other hand, a man needs to be just as sensitive when his wife is about to minister. I teach bstudies & speak and if I’m edgy at all, who do you think bears the brunt of it? Phil is careful to send me off w/a kiss, smile & prayer. Hope this helps, Toni Spry

  • http://www.bullcityvineyard.com Maggie

    Makes sense, Toni. I find all this to be true. Thanks for your response. We are finding that navigating the ins and outs of planting God’s church is a challenge any day of the week, but the weekend is heightened and the enemy lurks for opportunity. We are learning together…and hope to walk in tenderness. It’s challenging and thrilling all at once. Peace. Maggie