If you’ve planted a church, and you’re honest with yourself, really honest, you might admit things have not turned out quite like you had planned. While others around you seem to be doing great things for God – baptizing, adding services, etc., you may still be struggling to figure things out.

You’re not alone.   I’ve been in your shoes. I’ve begged, pleaded, and even made one-sided deals with God, promising Him I would dothis or that if he would just make it work!

Recently, we’ve seen much growth, and blessing.  Here’s what I’m learning:

1.       Jesus wasn’t my priority

Honestly, I know what it’s like to preach on Sundays without personally pursuing Jesus with my own heart during the week.  The truth is Jesus won’t do something through you until He first does something in you.  What’s He doing in you personally?  Apart from your role as pastor, have you prioritized the presence of God in your life today?

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. –Matt. 5:6

2.       I divorced the vision

You can’t plant a church apart from vision, period.  If Jesus has given you a vision for your church, you better be willing to die for it! Early on, I divorced the vision that God gave me, because others told me it was too grandiose, while they struggled to keep their church doors open.  I soon realized they were mistaken, because any vision I could pull off on my own was not God-sized!  If you’ve heard from God, be bold.  Go public with your vision today!

Where there is no vision, the people are unrestrained. – Prov. 29:18a

3.       I didn’t have a coach

GET A COACH!  Adding an expert to your staff is an invaluable investment.  My coach, Charles Hill, has taught me more in four months than I’ve learned in two years.  Even the best athletes in the world need a coach.  You can’t afford not to have one.  Trust me, get a coach today!

When people ask about church, one of the first questions is, “What kind of ministries do you offer?” For better or for worse, the term “ministry” has come to mean, “a program that will meet my needs.” This connotation is an unfortunate distortion of what Christian-ministry should be about. My way around this misperception is to simply offer no ministries through our church. Here is how I describe it on our website.

“We do not offer any “ministries” at Reunion, what we offer instead are opportunities. Every person; young or old, male or female, rich or poor, healthy or sick, new or experienced, is gifted by God with something special to offer.

• If you are at a season in life where you need someone to serve you, serve your kids, or serve your family, then check out the Opportunities we offer.
• If you are in a season where you are ready to do something good for someone else, then we have Opportunities for you as well.
• If you are looking for a list of ministries, then you simply wont find any.
• If you are looking for opportunities, then you are at the right place.”

Obviously this is a bit of a word game, but my hope is that a small change like this will help people break bad habits and see church in a different way. In countering our consumer culture, I must emphasize that it is not wrong for people to come to the church in hopes of having their needs met. We live in a broken world with broken people, and, just like Jesus, we need to serve people by meeting their needs. However, we must not be satisfied to meet needs!!! We must strive to move people into a new season of life where they start serving others—even while they are being served.

I quaked. Whenever I neared her classroom, fear and trepidation besieged me. My reaction was autonomic, full of emotions I could not control. Whenever she called on another student, I breathed a deep sigh of relief. For the moment, hallelujah, I was not the one who was put on the hot seat. Have you ever been there? Whenever I handed in an essay, I tossed and turned in unabated restlessness. Red markings blanketing my paper were sure to follow. Ouch! No professor since, not even one of those renowned psychologists on my dissertation committee, provoked in me such angst.

It was freshman year at Taylor University, and she was the notorious Professor Hilda Studebaker. English Composition was her playing field, and fierce hard ball was her game. To many of us, she felt like a student’s worst nightmare, or a better metaphor, a terrifying earthquake reverberating aftershocks and tremors across the Upland campus.

Take her grading policy. She docked you one letter grade for every error on a paper. If you split an infinitive, the best you could get was a B. On the same paper, if a subject and verb did not agree, the best you now could get was a C. Many of my essays, incidentally, had three or more errors. Coming from West Philadelphia to rural Indiana was enough of a shock. Encountering Professor Studebaker was flat-out traumatic. I can envision her stern look and hear her say. “Write in the active voice, not passive voice.” “Begin each paragraph with a topic sentence.” “Vary the lengths of your sentences to maintain interesting prose.” “Use proper syntax.” “Write with precision.” “Use forceful verbs.”

Professor Studebaker etched an indelible mark on my psyche. But here is an irony. Although I never remember her smiling, behind the persona was a caring person. In spite of my bumbling, she saw my potential and then transformed me into a writer. More than anyone other professor, she gave me an incredible tool and honed my academic abilities. The experience propelled me forward. For you see, good writing is not simply about syntax and sentence structure. It is about critical thinking, clarity of thought, focusing on what is important, connecting with people, enriching the human experience, and ministering. Yes, good writing is ministry. Remember the works of Solomon, Apostle Paul, St. Augustine, C. S. Lewis, and Jonathan Edwards? You should. I place writing near the top of my ministry tool box.

Inadvertently, Professor Studebaker also taught me a life lesson: the one about conquering debilitating fear. I learned that the only real solution to fear is to confront the object of fear. My astute professor would not allow me to avoid the task at hand, despite my deepest angst. Therefore, I respectfully suggest that FDR was slightly off point when he said: “the only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” In my opinion, a more accurate mantra is this: “The only thing we have to fear is the avoidance of the things we fear.” We psychologists call the professor’s method flooding, which is prolonged and intense exposure to the noxious stimulus. This should be of interest. By the end of that freshman year, my fear had subsided. I amazingly looked forward to going to class. Do you know what is more amazing? Writing became a passion.

Along life’s journey, it became clearer to me that the antidote to fear is the opposite of how we often behave—avoidance. For real success, we must face the things we fear–not in lieu of our fears but despite them. When we obey God and step into the uncharted waters of life, God works in wondrous ways, and then our fears begin to subside. The scientific principle of extinction, which underlies flooding, accords with the biblical command of living by faith: “Walk by faith, not by sight” (II Corinthians 5:7); “Faith without works is dead” (James 2:17); “Obedience is better than sacrifice” (I Samuel 15: 22); “The just shall live by faith” (Habakkuk 2:4); “Trust and obey, for there is no other way” (John H. Simmis).

Faithlessness, not fear, is the antithesis of faith. Fear–the expectation of impending harm–reflects our humanness; disobedience and irresponsible avoidance, our faithlessness. Fear may underlie our decision to disobey and irresponsibly avoid. But faithlessness lies in the choices we make—choosing this day, this hour, this moment who we serve, what we serve, and how we serve. To complete the narrative, fear does have a contingent relationship with faith. Walking by faith precedes the dissipating of our fear, while the dissipating of our fear (the effect) hinges on walking by faith (the cause). Like faithlessness, faithfulness is a choice. Unlike faithlessness, this choice leads us into obedience and responsible action.

As it turned out, Professor Studebaker was my biggest fear inducer yet my biggest fear conqueror. To be honest, I still get threatened. I still bumble. Lord strengthen my faith so that I might confront the fearful challenges I need to face, flee the threats that bring me needless harm, and grant me the conviction to choose rightly between these opposing choices.

I’m a huge fan of learning from great organizations. One of my favorite things to do is to take planters, pastors and clients on field trips to learn from those who do it best. I have done this several times and there is always a ton to learn.

This week I took 5 church planters to Disneyland (it helps living close). First, I took them to 5 places in the park that tell the Disney story as well as create teaching moments. After we made our 5 quick stops I provided them with observation questions to get them thinking, asking and observing.

Here’s a sample of some the questions and instructions I provided them:

1. Look around and make some general observations. Remember to look with “new eyes.”
2. Ask,” What does Disney know/do that we could learn from?” Keep in mind that we often miss the genius of the familiar.
3. Ask the “why” questions.
4. Describe your experience (both good and bad).
5. Describe the environment.
6. How does this place make you feel?
7. What can you learn from your experience that can be integrated or used in the ministry you’re currently doing or will be doing?
8. Describe the different emotions and experiences you had.
9. What do you learn about vision and dreams? Attention to detail? Customer service?
10. With everything ask, What does this mean for me?

After a few hours of observing and playing, I gather those participating to debrief and ask, “What did you see, what did you hear and what did you learn? The depth of conversation and observations deepens the more people you have. In my opinion collaboration is the best process for learning, so creating a collaborative environment is key to best outcomes. The best way to do this is by sending people out in groups with observation questions designed to maximize the learning experience. The questions you ask will guide people’s thinking and the outcome you hope they experience.

So, if you want your organization or leadership team to get new ideas about things like customer service, the importance of values, branding, etc., then send them out armed with their observation questions and instructions and when they get back be sure to debrief and ask what can we learn from these observations and what would it look like for us?

Here are my top ten organizations to learn from:

1. Disney – Customer service, great environments and experiences, values, leadership, branding, fun and vision

2. Southwest Airlines – Driving values through an organization, enduring a crisis, advertising, fun

3. Panera – Creating an environment and experience for people, values, quality

4. Nordstroms – Customer service, sales

5. Apple (the Apple Store) – Branding, customer service, change, creating an environment for people

6. Starbucks – Branding, values, management, pride, change

7. In & Out Burger- Quality, simplicity, hiring, values

8. Chick-fil-A – Commitment to excellence, values, telling a story

9. Google – Simplicity, fun, loyalty

10. Trader Joe’s – Branding, Customer Service, Identity

Things to keep in mind as you do this:

1. Learning best happens when it’s collaborative

2. Learn outside the box – We tend to focus our learning on the same books, models and organizations

3. Control the experience not the outcomes

4. Do your work ahead of time – Just don’t show up and expect to learn

5. Record everything and get your observations to everyone

Super Bowl coach and respected Christian witness Tony Dungy has left a mark on America in terms of exemplary leadership. He didn’t curse, sarcastically chew out players, or rant on the sidelines. He believed he could get his team to compete by calmly providing direction and treating players with respect. Interestingly, this demeanor allegedly prevented him from securing a head-coaching job for many years. In our church planter stables, we need more Tony Dungys, who, in the process of trying to achieve great goals, set examples for others.

In the hectic, demanding world of new church development, planting leaders often don’t know either what is going on or refuse to do anything about subpar efforts by staff or volunteer ministry leaders. Point leaders who fail to step in when people need them most are culpable. It may be time for a new type of leader who has cast aside the largesse of ego and exercises power in ways that are more humane. The less invasive leadership style symbolized by the shepherd’s staff reminds me of a quote attributed to Margaret Thatcher: “Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren’t.”

Leaders exhibit many qualities besides kindness. It is, for example, possible to be hard-nosed and kind, to be cantankerous and kind, to be analytical and kind, or to be gregarious and kind. Kindness comes packaged with many other traits. Thus, a leader’s own unique qualities give him or her a distinctive style. I believe that kindness is part of a good leader’s constitution and that others are able to brush aside some of the other qualities that leaders possess in order to see the compassionate center. Therefore, many different types of people are kind. The search for the perfect leadership personality is terribly misguided and ultimately fails to explain what leaders really do and what makes them effective.

By kind, I do not mean sucker or pushover. Nor do I imply a warmly permissive leader whose staff team runs wild. Kindness does not preclude a full range of expression, including, at times, displeasure, nor should it be interpreted as excessive amicability. The goal of spiritual leadership should not be to get results to please the management team or financial stakeholders, but to increase the effectiveness of the ministry team over time using agreeable means. So even though kindness does not appear in leadership books that are devoured by new church planters, I contend based on personal experience as a planter and planter coach that leading with kindness is truly an important key.

Possibly one of the hardest roles of a church planter/pastor/leader is making the decision that it is time for someone to move on from your team or staff. Or as a denominational leaders, when a pastor/planter/staff decides to move on as well.

As one that has asked people to move on and one that has been moved on, there are a few principals that we need to learn when doing so. Some might think I am writing this out of spite [there are a couple of well known kicks in the teeth we have received the past few years]. I am not.

I am writing it because we have a real issue with this in the church. Corporate America seems to treat it’s employee’s better than most churches/organizations. This is a sad, sad fact.

3 simple principals that we must follow:

1. Tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

While you don’t have to tell gory details and vicious things that are not needed, don’t try to be politically correct and spin things like a 24 hour cable news program. Say it like it is. People will accept good leadership, whether they agree with it or not. They will not accept spin, half-truths and lacking of other things listed below, even if the decision is correct.

2. Take care of the person’s family.

Jesus tells us to love our enemies, and to go the extra mile with them. If someone wants your outer garment, get naked for them, right?

It amazes me that not only do we not go the extra mile often in the church with those we love, we tend to make them the enemy to justify our actions. If God is really asking someone to move on, why are we so offended by this? [Pride]. It is never easy when someone leaves the vision that God is burning in you. Get over it.

We tried to make it a priority to give staff who was asked to move on 8 weeks of pay and benefits, even if they did something egregious! They have a family and their family did nothing wrong.

I have 3 times been dropped in the middle of nowhere as a planter with little to no notice. To go from being the sole earner in the family, living in a strange land with no family, and far from a support system…to be cut-off with no warning is inexcusable. Same with a staff person. We must take care of those moving on.

3. Radically love them.

Jesus calls us to a much higher standard than corporate America. I mention corporate America so much because the church seems to think that it is the best way to act at times. I have had several people say something to the effect of, “Dang Charles, my corporate job treated me way better than those people who are to be Christian leaders did.” [I know this is not true in every case, but I hear it more and more and have witnessed it first hand as well].

I know of people who talked to their leaders about possibly planting a church in the future and were promptly terminated a short time later.

I know that you want nothing more than to have your staff settled again, the drama gone and get them pushed out and another moved in. But after being on both sides of this equation…it is imperative that you show more than just a little love to those who are leaving your church. Shower them.

Lastly, if they had a position where there was a ton of influence, try to keep the relationship strong to where at some point you can ask them back to teach again.  This kind of love takes work. It takes a pure heart. And it will show the world and your church that we are different. Since when should corporate America trump the church?

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[If you have been dumped hard and kicked in the teeth as a pastor/leader, please read this one book that will radically change your perspective: Exquisite Agony by Gene Edwards. And if you need someone to process this with, hit me up.]

Over the last 18 months at COMMUNITY we have made strategic moves in order to mobilize all (yes, we mean ALL) our people for mission.  Part of that process has been to clearly articulate in a simple way our mission and how we will carry it out.  The mission is “helping people find thier way back to God” and the way we will accomplish it is throug the 3 R’s.What is below is the script from a voice over I did for a video to explain in a concise way the Jesus mission at COMMUNITY.

MISSION:  At COMMUNITY we have accepted the mission of Jesus and simply say it like this: “helping people find their way back to God.”  This mission is made up of three tasks:

REACH.  First, we must reach people far from God. The Western Church is observing a dramatic shift from a Christian culture to a post-Christian one.  It is now suggested that 60% of the people we want to reach will never enter the doors of our current forms of church.  If that is true, we then need to allow our imaginations to be profoundly shaped by the biblical notion that God is sending us as He sent Himself in Jesus.  Matthew 28 says to “Go!” and we are challenging ourselves to be the church who will reach people who are far from God.

RESTORE.  We must also restore God’s dream for the world. A common perception among pre-Christians is that Christ-followers talk about poverty and justice issues, but that we don’t do much to address those issues.  But Jesus expects us to change that perception.  “He unrolled the scroll and found the place where this was written: “The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, for he has anointed me to bring Good News to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim that captives will be released, that the blind will see, that the oppressed will be set free.”  (Luke 4:17-18) It is our mission to be a people who restore God’s dream for the world.

REPRODUCE.  We must then reproduce the mission in others. If we are called to go to “Jerusalem…Judea…Samaria… and to the ends of the earth,” we have to find a new way of counting that results in rapid reproduction and exponential growth.  This new math counts on you and your friends to start a missional church movement.  Every movement starts with one person.  When you and your friends follow the biblical example to become apprentices of Jesus, (2 Timothy 2:2) the result can be the beginning of a missional church movement.  Through these apprenticeships, we will reproduce the mission in others.

That’s the Jesus Mission. Now go.

If my son were starting a church this weekend…

and he came to me and asked, “Dad, what are the most important things I need to know?” I would think, “Man, this is my BOY! He has got to get this right.”

I would pray a minute, ask him to take out his iPad, and then say…

1. What you’re doing is all about loving people. Forget that, and you’re doomed
2. Make your wife priority! Never let her feel she’s in the back seat behind ministry
3. Raise your kids in freedom! Don’t let your position make you feel they have to be superstars
4. Learn to hear God’s voice. Know what His whisper sounds like… There is NO other way
5. It would be better to promote someone a year late, than a day early
6. Invest in those on your team. Let them see the good, bad and ugly
7. Never get in a rut! If you change 1-Degree at a time, you will maximize effectiveness
8. Preach from the overflow of what God is telling you
9. Don’t serve bread dough on Sunday morning, serve hot bread
10. Find a group of other leaders, form relationships… They will save your life!
11. Never seek to please people. That is a merry go round that never stops
12. You serve a Supernatural God, look for His movement, if you don’t look, you wont see
13. Hear God, follow Him, and leave the results to Him. “And the Lord added.”
14. Never forget to have fun! Serving God is hard, but you have to fun too!
15. Don’t ever try to be someone else. God put you there to be you…He likes you just as you are!
16. Strive to be a giver and not a taker! Always sow into others, rather than being the “Asker”

Those are some of mine, if I had more time to think, I’m sure there are other things I would tell my son!

What would you tell your son?

…by the time it’s 12 months old

Don’t take yourselves too seriously
You are important to God. Isn’t it enough to know that without the need to prove it all the time? Walk in humility. Obey. Keep in step with the Spirit.

Outreach is your lifeblood
It’s tempting to settle in on the point of problem centeredness, especially if you’ve had a modicum of success. People will ask that you “pastor” them instead of persevering instead of living out your roles as Evangelists. Pastoring at that point is a trap! Don’t fall for it. Tell people to go to counseling who need help. Pray for them while you stand up after a gathering. Don’t you dare see them more than once in the name of ministering to them.

There’s always a process to what you’re doing
God is at work with your people and those you seek to reach. God is continually doing something though we are sometimes frustrated with his timetable. Our desire is for details to work out quickly. None of us are naturally patient, but then again God’s work is more stable than ours.

As you serve a powerful spiritual atmosphere is created inside and outside your church
As you consistently love, serve and show generosity to outsiders you build an almost tactile reality around your church that impacts others that has a profound spiritual effect on others at dimensions that are difficult to easily see or measure on the surface of things but is real just the same.

As people nearby experience this they will change their perceptions about God and recognize that he is positive – not negative, loving – not necessarily judgmental.

As you serve you are also going to shape the spiritual atmosphere inside your church community as you walk out the heart of God. Your people will see that serving is part and parcel of the normal Christian life.

Others are more important than your venture
Don’t worry about your success. As you serve, God will show up in your midst. His presence is the greatest guarantee of success.

It’s vital to teach on living generously if vision is to succeed
People will tell you they like your church because you don’t talk about money “all the time like other churches.” It’s tempting to fall into the trap of under emphasizing this vital topic. Of course, your people need to be challenged. Deep down they crave this instruction for their growth’s sake.

A vision for church planting
Set a goal from the beginning of your launch as to how many and how fast you will produce your first of several plants. Talk about that frequently from the front…with a smile of faith!

See the city as your mission field
World missions are great but God is first interested in capturing the hearts of your church with the immediate. The “ends of the earth” is safe because all it requires is a check and an occasional prayer. God has in mind that your “Jerusalem” will come before the ends of the earth. Serve them. Care for the poor down the street in practical ways. Pray for them door to door in ten-second segments.

Worship stirs the presence of the Spirit
One of the top couple of necessities for success is Spirit-inspired worship. If your worship doesn’t bring the presence of the Spirit then change it until it until it does. You won’t succeed in much else till you do.

Ministry to the poor is basic to a discipleship
We are all – 100% of us – are called to care for the Poor in some way. Ministry to the Poor is part of any outreach emphasis. I highly recommend you make this a vital part of your initial foray into the community. No matter where you live in the world there are people in need within a 15-minute drive, if not next door.

If you don’t make outreach the focus it won’t be any of focus
That’s just the way it works. Outreach will be relegated to a program side by side with ushering, working in the parking lot and making coffee with about as much passion as the other ones mentioned above. It will be an utterly ineffective token effort that is in place for members to point as something that says their church cares about the Lost even though everyone knows there’s nothing effective being accomplished.

The way your senior leader(s) live and model ministry (and life!) is the greatest determiner as to how the local church will approach discipleship
Your church is like a flock of geese flying in formation on a journey. At the tip of the flock is a lead goose directing the rest toward in a certain direction. Where that leader goes, the rest of the formation follows. It’s a simple principle. Like it or not, the leader is carefully followed whether the rest of the flock understands the principle or not. It’s intuitive.

Regardless of that leader’s natural inclination, it’s vital that they become the person the flock needs in order to grow. Any person – any leader – can change by merely determining to change. It’s a matter of making a decision then leaning into the empowering of the Spirit for change to happen. God will show up and empower that decision. It is easy for a leader to cop out by thinking they don’t possess the needed gifts in the area where help is needed. As that leader merely shows up with an available attitude God will provide the needed gifts, energy and physical resources. As St. John of the Cross said, “Where there is no love, bring love, and there will be love.”

I have a very foundational belief that no guest enters into the midst of a church, whether a conventional church structure or an unconventional gathering place, by happenstance. Rather, those who visit, are there by divine appointment. No one ever comes into your church, come by whim or without reason. Rather, those who come are wrestling with life, looking for answers and they have been prodded by the Holy Spirit to come to your gathering.

So, why mention this? Why does it matter? Because what we believe about this issue will impact how we treat those who come and how passionately we pursue them. I was recently reminded, while attending a church, that we often do a very poor job preparing for and following up with those God sends us. Every church wants guests, but few really know what to do with them when they come in the door.

Answering these questions will help you determine how well you prepare. When someone new shows up; how do you gather his or her information? Are you consistent and passionate about gathering that info? Do you view gathering their info as an act of evangelism or just a recurring act that seems meaningless? How do you follow up once you gather that info? What strategies do you have in place for those who want to say “Yes!” to Jesus?

In my travel I worship in numerous churches of every kind and size. I am amazed how often most don’t take the time and effort to find a way to harvest my information. What if I was looking for a church? What if I needed some deeper answers? What if I just needed a little more prodding in order to make my way to Jesus? If you didn’t take the time to strategically plan on how to reach me, then you just lost your opportunity. In fact, that may have been my last chance to give the church an opportunity.

Do you believe that guests are coming to you by divine appointment or is it just luck? If God has sent them to you, what is your responsibility? I believe God stops sending guests to those who are not prepared.